Stupid anger.

So this is going to be super short.

My phone has been eligible for an upgrade since August 2011; I've had a blackberry since 2009. I was finally looking to get a new phone with my refund money at the start of the Fall semester, but then Christmas came. My dad decided to get us all new phones. It was exciting, but no one listened to me when I asked how that would work since only my phone was able to be upgraded at the discounted cost. Anyway, they decided it would be too expensive, so we get new phones as our contracts expire. Now, even though the one upgrade was on my phone, and I was very excited to buy the iPhone that I've wanted for years, we decided that my sister, being the oldest, should get the phone. She just got it today and I'm salty as fuck. I shouldn't be upset about this. I should be happy and excited for her, but I'm pissy.

I'll get over it in time, but it's irritating.

-stupid anger.
#shitthatpissesmeoff

Brain vs. Heart

I hate the my brain tells me a million things, but it doesn't change what my heart tells me.

We've all been there. We've all had 'gut' feelings where we just felt that something amazing was going to come if we did a certain thing. Your brain might be telling you, "dude, fuck you, that's the most dumbass thing I've ever heard." You do it anyway. Then you realize you don't know where you would be if you hadn't followed your heart.

I'm currently in a little predicament. My heart wants to hold onto something that my brain is telling it to let go of. I've even tried to convince myself that I just needed to let it go, but something in me refuses to. I really don't know what to do about it. I've been 'going with the flow' for over a year now, and I've gotten nowhere. Yet, I won't let go of the feeling that someday, this could be something amazing.

She thinks I'm annoying, and it infuriates here when she hears me say it, but I mentally cannot let it go. I'm trying to. I really am. You can't make a heart feel something it doesn't, and you can't tell it to forget something it does. You don't love me, but I legitimately can't stop loving you. You've hurt me, made me cry, made me violent and pulled with my emotions, but I can't get enough of you.

My brain wants to move on, but my heart isn't about to do that any time soon.

-Brain vs. Heart-
#shitthatpissesmeoff

The Achievement Gap.

Woah, it's been forever since I've been on here. A couple hundred things have happened recently, and I'm going to share them all with you now. :) Grab a drink and put your feet up.

1.) A very close friend and I got into a fight and it practically ripped me apart. I said things I shouldn't have; she heard things she shouldn't have.
Feelings that shouldn't have been felt,
drinks that shouldn't have been consumed.
But we're growing close again, so I guess I can't complain.

2.) I have a strange hatred for fundraising. Speaking of that, if you have any awesome ideas, please shoot me a text about them! 419-305-6836.

3.) I've been drinking energy drinks and smoking cigarettes like I'm getting paid to. I wish I was getting paid to. I have energy drinks to keep me up, but they work so damn well that I can never sleep. I slept for two hours last night. Tonight, on the other hand, will be amazing. I'm going to be in bed by 10- maybe even 11. It will be voluptuous.

4.) I have no patience for people and their high school drama. Take it back to high school. Make the friends you want to, avoid the ones you don't. Life if simple. Step back. Live it up.

5.) The Achievement Gap is the biggest pile of bullshit I've ever had to discuss. We haven't improved the education system in 20 years. Let it go. If we don't have the means to fix it, maybe it shouldn't be fixed. I could go on about it forever, but I need to smoke.

-The Achievement Gap-
#shitthatpissesmeoff

Money

College = financial ass-rape.

I am a firm believer that there is nothing greater in life than college years. This year, however, has left me still bleeding. I'm not one to worry about money; it will always exist. I'm just horrified to graduate - I'm going to be in debt up to my eyeballs.

On a side-note, it's Thirsty Thursday and I must get out and see the town.
Maybe I'll take some pictures.

-Money
#shitthatpissesmeoff

Loving the taken.

Most of you know this; I'm gay. No surprise there. Anyway, I've realized in life that I have tendencies to fall in love taken or straight individuals. That being said, nothing is different from my current situation. I am madly in love with this woman. She is a close friend and knows how I feel about her. We have a connection with one another that most people would kill for. Regardless of my feelings, she is on her way to Florida with her girlfriend as I type. I would do anything for this woman. I want to wake up next to her every morning. I want to be able to tell her I love her a million times a day. I want to meet her family and hang out with her sister. I want to get a puppy together and a house with hardwood flooring. I want white sheets and tons of windows. I want a pool and a large yard. I want her. If I could have her and nothing else I would be happy. If we had to live in a cardboard box for the rest of our lives, I'd be content as long as I had her.

I'm not going to be mopey though. She's not interested in loving me and she's happy. As stupidly cliched as that is, I just want her to be happy with everything in life. When we are with each other the world disappears. Nothing feels "right" unless she is there with me.

Arg.

-Loving the taken.
#shitthatpissesmeoff

The sound of a shredder.

So I know it's been a little while, but here goes. I hate hate hate hate HATE the sound that an electric shredder makes. It's like my mom finds shit just to shred it around me. It's one of the few sounds in the world that instantly piss me off. The ripping sound that makes me either silent or raging. You can't talk over it. You can't do anything whilst it runs. Arg.

-the sound of a shredder-
#shitthatpissesmeoff

Sleeping all day.

Almost everyone knows that 3rd shift is tricky.
1) I work weekends.
2) I eat "lunch" at 2 in the morning.
and
3) I sleep all day.

There are so many things to could do during these gorgeous summer days. I feel like I'm trapped in a horrible routine. However, I obviously need sleep to function. While you are getting your hours when it's dark, I've got my head in a freezer making sure the Hot Pockets are aesthetically pleasing. The pay is decent, but nowhere where I want it to be. The people are nice, but most have no plans for career advancement.

Anyway, so I get off of work around 7:10 every morning and usually head to work out for a while after that. I get home around 9 and make myself a bowl of cream of wheat (yum) and have a slimfast. Well next thing I know I'm on my computer blogging, checking facebook and working on photos. I'll usually put my computer down, read for a little and then pass out. Here comes the horrible part. Some days I fall asleep around 10 and sometimes I'll be up until about 1. However, regardless of when I fell asleep, I always wake up around 8pm. I hate that.

At this point I feel that I am completely nocturnal and things need to change.

-Sleeping all day-
#shitthatpissesmeoff

Having nothing to blog about.

I started this blog because I was kicking ass at my hashtag #shitthatpissesmeoff on twitter. It made a few people laugh and probably pissed a few people off. I've been going pretty steady, but today I realized I have nothing to blog about. Nothing has been pissing me off lately. I'm working out, eating healthier, working harder and I get paid again here soon. Soon I find out my roommate, eat a salad and nap. So today's blog remains short, as usual.

-Having nothing to blog about-
#shitthatpissesmeoff

When nothing sounds good.

Today was a great day to catch up with myself. I lounged around all day watching horrible TLC shows and just slept on and off. Well about an hour ago I decided to get up, get changed and grab something to eat. I've showered, changed and now I'm watching Ghost Hunters, but the idea of food is blah. I'm feeling all healthy, but all mom wants to make is deep-fried or oven-baked food. However, I need to eat something before I head to work. We'll see what happens. I want fruit.

-When nothing sounds good-
#shitthatpissesmeoff

Cancelled plans.

This is going to be short and to the point. This might be the number one thing on my list of shit that just really pisses me off. I hate when I make plans with a person, or a few people, and they come up with excuses to cancel. My favorite is when they are "tired". You're not tired, you just want me to go away so you can have sex. Tonight, however, I'm officially irate. I'm off work and I want to party, so I made plans with a few of my friends to have a little fire at a friend's house. It was going to be relaxed and chill, but we were also planning on getting drunk. My friend went to "nap" and was supposed to call me when she woke up. Well she went to sleep around 7 and now it's going on 10 and I know my friend is going to bed in the near future. I can't wait to be back in Kent with people who KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN once in awhile. I haven't been this ridiculously pissed in a long time. I'll be okay without a fire and alcohol and friends, but the fact that we've had these plans for a few days really rubs me the wrong way. Ugh.

-Cancelled plans-
#shitthatpissesmeoff

Wrist pain.

First off, I want to say that as I write this I'm watching Little Einsteins and I love that they incorporate music into the entire show. On another note, I'm off of work tonight. I know almost everyone got their partying done the past few days, but this girl wants to drink a little wine, smoke my camel menthols and enjoy a good conversation. Hit me up if you're free. 

Anyway..

I've decided that I need to do something with my OCD; we're just not right for each other. Lately, I've been pulling my wrists back in an almost stretching-like movement. It sounds easy to say, "stop doing that" but it's a good joke. I don't even realize I'm doing it most of the time. This time it's worse than any of my other OCD habits. I seriously think I gave myself carpal tunnel in both wrists, but my left hurts worse than my right. I've recently started wrapping them in ACE bandages. Work has been killing me lately too. It's hard to heal a wrist when all I do is rip boxes apart and stock frozen shit. Today is a short rant, and for that, I apologize.

-Wrist pain-

#shitthatpissesmeoff

Sunday morning radio.

I'm in a perfect mood today. It's overcast and tonight marks day 5 of work which means that I have tomorrow off! Anyway, I'm sitting here watching Despicable Me because that's the kind of mood I'm in. It might be my favorite movie ever.

Last night I had to work with a pain in the ass woman. She was slow and didn't know where anything went. She belongs in baby shit. That's where she should stay. She also has this skill where she just stands around a lot. It's pretty ridiculous.

But I digress.

The real focus of this post is to rant about Sunday morning radio.

I've never been strongly religious. In fact, I've never been even a little religious. That being said, I don't want to listen to talk shows about the greatness of Jesus. I don't want to listen to songs about how great God is. I want my 80's; my Billy Joel and Chicago. That's all I want when I'm driving home from work. Make that happen world.

-Sunday morning radio-
#shitthatpissesmeoff

My dad.

I'll start off on a bright note today.
The sunrise this morning looked amazing, like a gigantic tidal wave of oranges, reds and purples; truly a perfect way to enjoy a cigarette at 5 in the morning.
In other great news, NY legalized same-sex marriage!

Now to the shit.

My dad is a douchebag. I've never been super close to the guy. He never quite understood me. He hated that I would read and work on computers while my brother and sister would help garden and mow. It's not that I hated gardening and mowing, it's just that I'd rather delve into a good book. We just don't get along. It's hard for me to mesh with stupid people. He tries. He really does. He bought me a camera and a motorcycle and pays for my insurance and gas, but on the same regards he is a huge dick. He constantly brings up the fact that he pays for  my insurance and gas and he's just a jerk when he asks questions. Instead of saying, "Hey, can we watch the news?" He says, "so, what's happening in the real world instead of this crap." He's a truck driver and I'm sure he's good at it, but he's never around. He leaves out for the road on Sunday night and comes back home Friday. We barely talk save when he thinks I'm fucking up, which appears to be all the time. But he's stupid, and he knows I'm not afraid of him. I know this sounds like a rant and you're probably thinking, "you hate him now, but someday he'll be gone." Well, that may be true, and I may just be angry, but it makes me upset that we don't get along. I try to do little things like pull weeds in his flower garden or take pictures of his roses, but they go unnoticed. I just want him to be proud of me for 10 seconds.

-My dad-
#shitthatpissesmeoff

People who don't get grammar.

"I could care less."
Don't you mean you couldN'T care less?
"Whatever."
Learn the phrase.

"At least" = 2 words
"A lot" = 2 words
"Irrigardless" = not a word
"Aloud" = not the same as "Allowed"

Is it a lot to ask to use simple grammar? I mean, come on. I understand incorrect punctuation. I'm a bit of a comma whore myself.

It's "that" not "dat".
You can't "ax" someone.
I don't care if you speak it that way; it's an accent. Don't write it that way.

"No" doesn't mean you understand.
"Write" doesn't privilege you.

Semicolons have more purposes than ";]".

"Your" is ownership.
"You're" is not.

"To" "Too" "Two"
It's embarrassing that they need explained.
"To" = "I'm going TO the store."
"Too" = "I have TOO many books."
"Two" = "I'd like to win TWO million dollars."

This really isn't beneficial to anyone unless you're 4 and learning this for the first time, and, in that case, kudos to you for being so savvy at 4. I've learned with most people that retaining information regarding grammar is undesired. It's sad when I meet people who don't know the difference between "are" and "our".

Get on this world.

-People who don't get grammar.-
#shitthatpissesmeoff

Lazy people at work.

Everyone knows that someone who just sucks at working. I'm talking about the kind of person who goes to the bathroom and comes back 15 minutes later with 8 other excuses for what he/she was doing. The kind of person who clocks out an hour early because his/her back hurts. The person who goes to lunch early and comes back late. The half hour break-taker. The "I'm going to do this while you do that" even though you know that he/she just assigned you to a job that is 5 times more enduring than whatever it is he/she has planned on doing kind of person. This is the person usually trying to act superior to everyone else. The person who talks negatively about the work ethics of others. The "I'll be right back" individual. He/She usually has more kids than he/she can handle and leads a super strange life that, to him/her, sounds extremely fascinating and worthy of sharing every 3 seconds. The "I'm going to tell you something pointless that I'm allergic to so that you can feel a little worry for me" kinda person. Your rash is not my business. Sadly, we all know these people, and sadly, they never change.

-Lazy people at work-
#shitthatpissesmeoff